Writing is for clever people with thoughtful opinions — not silly people like me

That’s a crap title. Or maybe it’s a good title? I don’t know. Already, I want to give up.

It’s hard to writing things down.

Especially if you’re surrounded by peers who do an excellent job of writing. That’s really intimidating.

Especially when you’ve been treading water professionally for a year or so. I have no real excuse, I have a daughter now — but I was never that prolific at writing before then — let’s be honest.

Especially when you’re an anxious person underneath it. If you know me personally — don’t laugh — it’s true :)

I’m the joker. That’s how I cover the anxiety up. It means maybe when I have something serious to say it has less impact because I’ve set myself up as this fun loving character.

I feel like I have nothing to add to the conversation. No real insight or revelation that will change the way anyone thinks about designing or building a product or service and most things I think to write about have already been done. This topic in-itself is exactly that — the ‘writing about how you can’t write’ blog post. Immediately has sent my inner monologue into “shut-up Matthew — nobody cares” overdrive.

I also write really long sentences sometime and I think Content Designers will tut under their breath at me.

All these things have made me stagnate a bit over the last year or so. A busy home life has given me the perfect opportunity to ignore writing and thinking. I know I can. I have done it now and again. I can tell a good tale, I can stand up and talk in front of people as well.

I do manage sometimes especially on the Co-op digital blog, but it’s different — it’s not thought so much, or interesting opinion. It’s just what we’ve done.

I want to do more thinking and opinioning (opinioning?!). I think writing whatever’s there in my head down will help me face this fear of not knowing what to write about.

I’ve just tapped this out on my phone.

It only took a few minutes — and it’s a start.

It’s not felt healthy for me to have unused thoughts rattling round in my brain. So I will begin in some small way to write them down.

I’m going to try to write a blog post a month in 2020

This probably seems really over the top when all I want to do is write 12 blog posts. However I get bored quickly and find it very easy to dart to the next thing. So this will be a challenge for me.

Coupled with the problems of writing I have above. It will be an easy one for me to give up on.

I’d like to build a useful habit and break down my own insecurity by facing up to my fear of putting my thoughts down.

This is not a New Years resolution

I’m going to be kind to myself. A resolution sets me up to fail. So with that in mind I’m doing this on my terms that I can refer back to if it begins to get me down.

1. The last thing I need is more stuff to do — this has to feel useful or I will stop — and that’s okay.
2. I am not in competition with anyone else.
3. I’m not going to get angry at myself if I don’t manage to keep the quality up or some of my sentences are a bit long.
4. It’s fine to write and publish on my phone — it needs to be easy or I won’t do it

I will try to write a blog post a month in 2020.

I will try to write a blog post a month in 2020.

I will try to write a blog post a month in 2020.

Consider January ticked off.

Also — the Candyman just appeared.